Mother Instincts

Personal Priorities: Children First

A colleague once asked me how my priorities changed from being single to being a wife and a mother. A lot, I told her. One year after graduation in college, I was already working then, I had to make a decision to become a wife. So you see, I never had opportunities of going to bars, dating till the break of dawn, partying till your feet hurt.

I had a child when I was 23, and that changed my priorities fast. I stopped working, had to take care of the child until I went back to work on the son’s 2nd year.  I made myself busy, for the kid and the husband. I went to working till night, doing overtime work because we do not ask from the husband’s parents nor from mine. We lived basically not dependent on what the parents would give us, but managed to slowly build up the family on our own. From milk to diapers, vitamins and doctor visits, we raised the kid on our own. The MIL may have had contributed cans of milk on her grocery days, but that’s just about it, and we are thankful.

The kid was in school at 4 years old and by then, I decided I’d go to law school while doing work in the daytime, reached my second year until I got pregnant with a daughter. I stopped studying on my third trimester as I was on the second semester of my second year in law school and never had a chance to go back until now, because I just started with my career.

Priorities change when you experience things that need realizations and a motion. Some people tend to carry out their priorities wrongly, that is the reason why they fail. But priorities, aside from me and the husband rearing the kids well and good, we have also carried out our own relationship. we have noticed that we sometimes need to go out alone together, with no kids tagging along, to bond with each other.

Our priorities dance with what life brings us. We may dance with life’s temptations and change the priorities we have set. Or we may choose to dance with what we really want, and rise up each time we fall.

Parenting is a priority, so much so with being a wife. But my foremost priority is the children’s welfare, more than all the riches this world can offer. My children is the source of my JOY and STRENGTH, a feeling just like all the mothers in the world feel.

Be Your Own Santa Claus

Mothers, take heed of this! You deserve something for yourself!

Yes, you heard me right! After stressful bouts with workweeks in the office, at work or even in the comfort of your household, you need something to cheer you up and something to remind you that you have been a good MOM. Kids are not the only ones who need cheering up, and they are not only the ones who need a Santa Claus to make them feel good because they have been good the whole year round. You too!

As parents, we may have fulfilled the needs of our children, and they may have enjoyed the fruits of your labor since they got delivered to this earth, but we also must give something to ourselves to remind us of our self-worth. Do not forget that you also have needs and wants, therefore, at this very timely season, you can be your own Santa Claus.

You do have that Christmas bonus, right? Don’t count it before it is hatched. Some parents feel pressed to spend what they still do not have, in the end, crying over what decisions they may have done wrong because something did not end up right. When you are already sure that your Christmas bonuses are already in your ATM accounts, have a plan on how you can use it. It is a bonus and may not be included in the monthly budget list.

Give yourself a reward! For being a good mom, you may have neglected yourself, buy clothes, new pair of shades, a brand new bag, or something that will make you really happy. A new casserole maybe, a new gadget to go with your work and lifestyle, or something that you can use as a hobby. You deserve it. Nothing compensates to being a fulfilled and happy mom, so give that bonus a little shake, it may be part of your Christmas cash gift or the whole of it. I really do not care but be your own Santa Claus for yourself, you deserve a handshake and a pat on the back.

For me though, a couple of new blouses will make me happy!

Or this?

I Walked in the Sky!

 When I went to Cebu last month, I was particularly excited for the adventure that i know I will be having. I had already made up plans in my head. I thought it would be interesting to travel alone for the first time, without the husband, the kids and mostly because in that seminar I have attended, I knew I will be making new friends. And since I was on my own during that trip, I found it very relaxing that I don’t have to think of someone else’s situation. I am a worrier, in fact I worry a lot that I am concerned about what others will feel, what others are thinking about and what others are doing.

So when that alone-time came and it was Cebu, my adventurous self came into existence once more. I met with a friend in Cebu, he and his wife toured me to one of the highest points in Cebu. Mr. A. We had coffee there after a good meal in Ayala Terraces.  I also had a chance to be toured in Cebu IT Park and other nice jampacked places of the city.

After the seminar of two nights in a secluded island, I had the chance of being with these three kindred spirits who accompanied me, and are willing to try the Skywalk at Crown Regency Hotel. Club Ultima is just a few blocks away from where we are staying in Cebu City after the seminar thus our trip downtown was fun and adventurous, walking around Cebu all by ourselves and deciding we could try walking in the sky!

With knees trembling and turning jelly, it was when we paid off the ticket that we could not get it back again that made us to push through with the plan. Walking on a platform just a meter with transparent glass at some point was all there is to make us appreciate what Cebu is actually made of. The tour guide up the 39th floor was cool and we had a good laugh while we were suspended by a safety harness looking down a good 38 stories below us.

But it was really fun. And adventurous. I’d love to try more of this kinds of adventure in my life, maybe with the kids soon. But I have to try it out myself because having to pose a similar emotion when in front of the kids is a different thing. I might puke when kids are involved. I’m the one more afraid for them. That’s why I have to find the courage to do it myself.

Motherhood is not always about parenting. It is also discovering yourself and enjoying life by yourself, never minding other things. As a working mom, I felt that I actually needed that alone-time. It is a must that we can be ourselves no matter what, and give ourselves some time to be alone, to just think things without somebody to talk to but just our thoughts. We need some time to argue with ourselves. And in that moment, you discover more of yourself.

Back on Track

The crazy schedule I have with the new job I have been enjoying since last year is really CRAZY. There are times when I cannot go home to my kids and husband anymore due to some annoying “pending jobs” and a few “do this and do that” from the boss. There are times when I can go to the office early and go home late which means having to leave home with the kids still asleep and getting home with the kids already asleep.

I apologize for the silence in this blog that this new job of mine has caused me. I have been very tired, over-fatigue may be an understatement but there is nothing I can do about it because it is the job that God has given me, I have no right to complain when other people are just dying to find their own jobs or some are dying to get my job.

Added to that, the husband changed the template of this blog, and instead of a good one to inspire me, I found my blog with a lion banner which irks me each time I open it, thus my dread to blog about my life and motherhood. See what a little inspiration (or the lack of it) can do?

But now I’m getting back on track. I just opened this blog today and saw that the husband has changed the header of my blog and  I liked what I saw. With this, let me inform you that I will be blogging more and more. The fresh new look of the site has inspired me that much.

Do visit me more often here now that I’m inspired to write about my motherhood experiences. And while I’m already at it, do you mind telling me what motherhood stories or topics you’d like me to write about?

Negative Aspects of Stress

If you are a mother and you have been juggling a lot of things in your life, it is unavoidable that you usually are stressed out because of too many reasons, that sometimes, you do not know what to do to relax. Many times, people who are stressed are being very grumpy, not thinking clearly, and problematic.

You may already have knowledge about this but for sure there are negatives effects upon your body when you are too stressed.

1. Stress can damage your body organs, scathe the work of your immune and nervous system, thus, the reason for you not thinking clearly.

2. Stress can use up most of your body vitamins, thus depleting all your body’s resources for strength and energy.

3. Your body is being weakened by stress as it affects the nervous system making you susceptible to diseases and infections.

4. Stress can cause increased heart rate, elevate cholesterol level in your body and cause tense muscles. You are susceptible to breathlessness because of stress.

5. Your body will experience increased body sweating, sometimes with a foul odor.

Therefore, if you are a mother, it is a MUST that you take some time off, a short rest and relaxation down the beach or a relaxing massage will do you good.  With that, you can also counter the negatives aspects of stress that, if not prevented sooner, can leave your kids orphaned.

MTRCB’s Strong Parental Guidance

I don’t really watch the television all the time. In fact, I care less about what telenovelas you watch or whether what is in the news. I am concerned with the welfare of people, yes, but hearing and learning from their misfortunes on the news makes me sick by just watching the most dreaded news of all times… Binaril, Patay. Naholdap, Patay. Nasagasaan, Patay.

What could be disappointing than all those? But of course, we also have our good news. The Peso inching its way up against the dollar, or policemen being honored because of their good deeds, or the oil price rollback.

However, all these good news happen but in a very rare moment, that is why I do not like being hooked on the TV. Yes, I do watch films on the television, in fact I just had my TV installed with cable so we could watch foreign news on CNN and BBC, for the kids to watch Cartoon Network and the adorable (ugh) Upin and Ipin.

Despite all these TV programs, the MTRCB has added a new advisory, an addition to Parental Guidance, something really good which is taglined as Strong Parental Guidance (SPG). I find this very helpful for those parents who are active in reminding their kids not to watch violent-filled movies, or even dramas that are filled with obsceneries and more. Striktong Patnubay at Gabay is something we parents should implement. I think it is best that we take a peek into what our kids watch, and advise them on what the benefits and disadvantages are in watching such TV programs.

I salute the MTRCB for coming up with this SPG, however, it is for the parents to fully implement this upon their kids. Otherwise, still, they are the ones who will be affected with what watching these TV programs can influence upon their children.

 Strong Parental Guidance needs strong implementation, enforcement, for us to grow intelligent children who do not waste their time watching what they are not supposed to watch. You see,kids appreciate what they watch, meaning, they are also influenced by what they see and what they hear.

It is a must that we act now. Let us provide our children Strong Parental Guidance when it comes to watching TV.

The Importance of Seat Belts: Buckle Up for Safety!

Long vacations are being planned now that it’s summer here in our country. Families take long road trips to somewhere cool, like hitting the beach or trekking to some mountains only to hide from the sun. But here’s one reminder I would like to share with you.

When we started traveling in our car two years back, I felt like I am very much protected because I am inside it comfortable, away from the heat and the physical contact with other vehicles.

With the husband driving, I feel very much confident that I travel with him carefully manning the vehicle and driving us to our destination safely. I have never seen him driving without fastening the seat belt on. And he has this habit of reminding me to buckle up too.

However, the late night news is lately being bombarded with lots of vehicular accidents who have victims not only arriving to the hospital bruised, but some dead. Mostly because of motorcycle collision or a headbutt among cars and big trucks.

This is a huge reminder for me that life on the road is a challenge; that if you are not careful of your life, it could very much be in danger. Hubby tells me to always fasten the seat belt, because he reasons, that thing is not made as car design but for safety.

Although I sometimes forget, I am instantly reminded about wearing one especially if I travel with the kids. The kids in the passenger seat is being trained to wear the seat belt too, even if we get lots of complaints from them. They must be snugly slipped on especially when they make the backseat their playground when we are hitting the road.

This single slip of the seat belt could save you a trip to the hospital, and could even save your life. So don’t forget to buckle up!

Woman: Know Your Worth (A Women’s Month Special Feature)

Women have a role that society cannot just dismiss. Admittedly, we all play a role that can always be done by any man, placing us on the equal ladder with the men.

Being surrounded by women who are strong, who have the power to free themselves from the bondage of household chores and step up in the corporate ladder is something we women must be proud of. True, there are still some people who do not have that much faith in women because as they say, women are the weaker sex. But look at how we have evolved over the passing of time, we are no longer the women who can be pushed around by husbands and even by the males in the family. We already know how to fight back, and make the society realize that because we are women, we cannot be rated inferiors.

We sometimes miss the reason why God created women, not because He needs us only for procreation but also for neutralizing things. You see, life is not about physical strength, but also about emotional stability. And we have our rights to be protected of our well-being. We have several legislations to uphold our being “women”.

Consider RA 6725, an act prohibiting the discrimination of women in terms of employment. The author is a woman herself, former Senator Leticia Ramos-Shahani.

RA 7192, also known as Women in Development and Nation Building Act declares that women are given legal guarantee for equal rights and written by also former Senator Santanina T. Rasul and Raul S. Roco. Republic Act No. 7877, the Anti-Sexual Harassment Act of 1995, protects the dignity of women by declaring sexual harassment as unlawful in the employment, education or training environment.

These legislations must remind us that we can go higher than we are expected to be. These legislations must be inculcated in all women, making them realize that not because we can barely carry a sack of rice means we are less of a person. These laws must always be reminded to all the women out there, they must know their rights to be protected from different kinds of abuse; and that they must know that they have their rights to cling on to, just to be reminded of their worth. 

“Just being a woman is God’s gift. The origin of a child is a mother, a woman. She shows a man what sharing, caring, and loving is all about. That is the essence of a woman.”
-Sushmita Sen, Miss Universe 1994-

Cleaning your Bathroom

I have always loved my bathroom next to the kitchen and my bedroom. I always want to stay long in my bathroom because it feels so clean inside it.

But a bathroom is a dirty place, it is where all the germs reside, well, only if you keep it that way. This is the second place where much cleanliness is a requirement. This is where you do the most intimate of things but it is admitted that it is actually a difficult task to clean the bathroom.

Here are a few tips for you to cleaning your bathroom.

1. Clean the toilet seat every day. Try to clean under the rim, use a toilet bowl cleaner, use baking soda or other cleansers to be sure you don’t scratch the porcelain.

2. Check the flush. make sure it functions well and does not clog.

2. Use 20% muriatic acid solution for the mineral deposits. Before pouring in the acid, make sure that there is no water in the bowl.

3. Brush or scrub all over the bowl and outside. Wear gloves before dealing with acid and some cleaning chemicals. It is also recommended that you wear plastic apron and even goggles to protect your eyes. It always pays to be safe.

4. Spray disinfectant on the toilet seat and on the seat cover.

5. You can make use of water and vinegar to clean the bathroom if you do not want to deal with heavy chemicals. If you want cleaning to be more effective, add more vinegar.

6. Regularly mop and scrub the tiles to prevent buildup of mildew and stains.

7. If you are considerate of the environment like me, you can use environment-friendly cleaners like lemons and baking soda.

Keeping Healthy Relationships with Your Children

All successful relationships require some work.

I couldn’t agree more. This is just so true.

I work during the weekdays, and my work requires me to be away with my family during the weekdays, and so the father does the household chores I am supposed to do, including mothering to them. I go home during Tuesday nights just to check on them and since my one hour ride in the bus would usually take me home light-headed and tires, I can only lay down in the bed and close my eyes while they are still up and about. I sometimes forget to even check their bags if they have assignments, ask them how their day went, and even to ask them if they had dinner.

I feel guilty, yes, because oftentimes, I forget about being a mother. I can be a good provider, just like their dad, but I sometimes forget they are top priority to me and that they are the reason why I am home.

As a working mom, I realize that life is never easy. The “houseband” would oftentimes call me to ask their children’s activities because for sure, a mother’s love is waaaaayyy different from a father’s. But you see, relationships need to be worked at. I have adjusted my time that when I am home, I get to give them hugs and shower them with kisses, ask them about school, what they need and how they want them done. I ask them what is wrong with them, what’s hurting them and what we can do to ease the pain away.

As parents, we must work our way towards achieving healthy relationships with our children. In the same way, we must work our ways in achieving a sound disposition with our immediate families because the children look up to them, and kids can tell whether we are only being civil, or if we are serious with our feelings.

Talking to children is the best way we can keep up with them. I encourage all parents out there to give your children enough time to talk with you, time to keep up with them in school events, and whatever they are going through. I urge you to keep asking them how they feel. This way, you will not only be at par with their lives, but also you can be updated with what they are into.

All relationships require some work, and talking to the children is one way in work